I know that there are many wonderful things about this state. You have some definite advantages: the Pacific Ocean, perpetual sunshine, amazing avocados, Napa Valley, Intelligentsia Coffee, the LA Phil, you're quite impressive.
However, there are a few things that could make you more awesome.
1) 60 degrees is not actually "freezing." That would be 32 degrees (F). 60 degrees it totally survivable, doesn't require a parka, or every piece of clothing you own to be put onto your body.
2) similarly, 85 degrees isn't actually "scorching." The states of Texas, Arizona, Nevada and New Mexico cordially invite you to hang out there for a few weeks this July to discuss this further.
3) Rain won't melt you. As Marshall can attest, there is a significant portion of this population that will cancel all plans for rain. Sorry, I really can't do brunch. It's raining. or I know you offered me free tickets to this amazing event, but I have to cancel at the last minute because it's sprinkling outside and I don't do water falling from the sky.
4) Breakfast Tacos > Breakfast Burritos.
This one still puzzles me. Millions of people embrace the breakfast burrito, but if you suggest tacos instead they look at you like you've just said that you're going to poison them. There are definite advantages to tacos: more portable, greater chance for variety, smaller portions....
I'll convert you, you will see.
Guys. People outside of Texas don't know what either of this things are. It's kind of tragic, watching them live their lives not even knowing what they are missing. What's worse it when they think they know. I ordered queso at a bar by campus. I got pico de gallo with a few strands of shredded pepper jack on top. NOT THE SAME.
6) You can drink water even if it doesn't have electrolytes in it.
7) Some states don't have state income tax. You should check that out, it's pretty cool.
Don't get me wrong, CA, you're great, I love you. More on that later.
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