Gratitude for Power Tools and A Fuller Understanding of the Elbow Grease Concept

I am grateful for my former-friend/former-student/former TA/current friend Marshall Todd Wootton for many reasons.  For example, in his blessedly organized way, he can interpret my incoherent babblings...and untangle my ridiculous pile of trendy/cheap necklaces.

To illustrate the ridiculousness, I give you this picture:

You are seeing Marshall and I's (*henceforth, team WootSnark) previous attempt to organize the jungle of costume jewels by hanging them on the wall in my apartment.   My landlady wasn't exactly thrilled about all of those holes when I moved out, but she thought it looked "so artsy and intriguing" (her words, I swear) that it compelled her to use my apt as the model for all prospective tenants.

(side note: I'm not sure if she believed that my artsy things could cancel out the dinge of the building, or if all of my neighbors were just that messy. . . .)

(also, in the spirit of full disclosure: I didn't have instagram when i originally took this picture, but since instagram makes the world look better, I may have utilized it here.  Walden filter for the win)

ANYWHO.  This solution was simple enough (nails + jewelry = quick art), but did a number on sheetrock, so I have decided against reimplementing this in my current abode.   The other night, when I was getting ready to go out with Becky, I realized that all of these necklaces were currently amassed in a web and impossible to separate.   Something had to be done.

THIS POST WILL GET MORE INTERESTING AND LESS JEWELRY-ORIENTED I PROMISE


Coincidentally, Marshall and I were both exceedingly bored on Tuesday, and decided to meet up for lunch.  Though the day started out innocently enough, poor Marshall was soon roped into project mode.   The studios of WootSnark would produce a board of vintage looking knobs and hooks on which I could hang the jewelry, and transport anywhere!

With aforementioned knobs, some wood, a can of spray paint and extra nails and screws in hand, we ventured back to my house to get started.

You will note that our supplies did not include power tools.

We believed we could nail starter-holes then screw things in by hand.  Theoretically, this plan is flawless...efficient, not so much, but feasible, yes.

Marshall constructed the frame, spray painting commenced and we munched on pizza while we waited for paint to dry.

Each coat dried for 15 minutes until the last, which we let dry for 30ish. That's a total of an hour of paint drying, folks.

Before we go any further, I want to say that the day had started so beautifully.  I mean, this was a part of our day:

Back to our trail of tears, Marshall and I begin to realize that solid oak is a little more robust than we had imagined...and that we were about to do this 11 times.  On that chilly January night, we sat there, applying body weight for torque on these little screws, wielding a hammer and contemplating the true beauty of power drills.

The first 2 knobs were easy.  The fourth, fifth and sixth were much more difficult.  Seven and Eight were total jerks.  Team WootSnark reached an impasse.  These two screws would not go into this wood.  While I searched high and low for any tools that might aid us, Marshall pleaded with the wood to cooperate.  We were close.

By this point we might have been delirious.  I found a gigantic nail and Marshall suggested that with larger starter holes we might make more progress.  That was when this happened:

Followed quickly by this:

Thus, with sore hands and sweat on our brows, we accepted our defeat.  We shall reconvene, with the appropriate tools, and try again.  In the mean time, the pile-o'-necklaces remains, and the Craft Project of Broken Dreams taunts me from it's final resting place.

I am reminded of the importance of having the right tool for the right job...or not bringing a knife to a gun fight...or something.

SIGH


We did have fun though.... I think.