Martin and I are basically Time-Travelers

If you know us, you know that my brother and I are nerds at heart, so it might not surprise you that our text conversations are....unusual.  This morning we were discussing the incredible disparity between "typical" generation spans and our own family tree.

The average human generation is, apparently, 20-25 years. This would mean that for each century, there should be 4-5 generations in a family.  For the Cherry family, however, it's closer to 3 generations...not even kidding. Here's a side-by-side comparison.

Brough to you by the power of inquiring minds and the Ford Model- T


US                                                                                                   NORMAL
Henry O: Great-Great-Great Grandfather b. 1800                          Henry O. b. 1800  

James: Great-Great Grandfather b. 1832                                       James b.1825

Henry E: Great-Grandfather in 1869                                               Henry E. b. 1850  

Everett: Grandfather b.1908                                                            Everett b.1875
Martin Sr: Dad  b. 1948                                                                   Martin Sr. b. 1900

Martin: Brother b.1979                                                                    Martin b.1925

So....basically, according to "typical" generational models my brother and i should have been born around 1925??!?!?!?!?!? 

totally could have been us:
http://www.photoforager.com/archives/august-sander

no wonder i frequently feel old.  

1925:

The year The Great Gatsby was published

The year of the Scopes Trial

The year Mount Rushmore was dedicated

The first year of the Grand Ole Opry

The year Paul Newman, Malcolm X, Yogi Berra, Jack Lemmon, BB King, Margaret Thatcher, Angela Landsbury and Johnny Carson were born. 

I would hang out with them. That's alright. 

Seriously though, isn't it staggering, to imagine that our lives could have been so drastically different, without changing who* our ancestors are, just when they had kids.  It in interesting (to us, at least), to think about what impacts this had on who we have become.

Perhaps this explains why we are "old souls".... we should actually just BE old. 

Now, get off my lawn, you crazy kids with your rock and roll.

*ok, ok, ok. I know. Technically, this wouldn't work because it's ignoring half of each generation (the moms), let alone our own mother's side of the family. 

The one where I get super sentimental

Let's just not discuss the infrequency of posts here, can we do that? I knew I could count on you guys.

This weekend I had the great honor to appear as a Regional Artist for the Mid-South Horn Workshop, hosted by the amazing Patrick Hughes and the UT Butler School of Music.  It's always a little surreal returning to the building I called home for so many years- the halls are haunted with memories of my proudest moments and bitterest failures, and around every corner i encounter an old friend of colleague. It was overwhelming and magical.

Traveling:
I wish I was a savvy traveler, I'm just not.  Chronic over-packing plagues my preparations- and not for a lack of considered planning. Typically something along the lines of:

What if I forget the ONE cardigan that will tie everything together and illustrate my professionalism to the world while still exuding effortless style?  It's so hard to choose!

How schizophrenic will Texas weather be this time? Not will it be- it will.

 Did I leave any clothes at the ranch? Very important. One does not face cows and barbed wire lightly and emerge with a nice pair of jeans.

Am I too lazy to wear heels? Yes. Always. Or I live in mortal fear of rolling my ankle as I enter the stage (I've done this, sadly. AMC = classy)

This time I also learned the full meaning of Red-Eye flight. Yikes.

The Conference:

This conference provided many anniversaries for reflection on how strange and awesome life is.

I judged the undergrad solo competition... A competition I won at the same conference exactly nine years prior. Whoa.  One of my fellow judges included a personal horn hero: David Thompson, who once judged me at a different solo competition (IHCA2007).  I think I avoided crazy fan-girl status.

Throughout the day i encountered friends, former students, and faces from horn conferences and masterclasses of yore. Only one person was surprised that I still play the horn, ha. A few people suddenly understood why we hadn't gigged together in a few years, and several others began referring to me as "Hollywood."   Mostly, however, it was delightful to catch up with so many people and reflect on the unexpected path that brought us back into each other's lives.

I was struck by the generosity and kindness of many people, but most especially Rick Rowley- the brilliant pianist who, coincidentally, played piano and coached a terrified young me through my performance at this conference 9 years ago.  In 2005 I did not know when to bow, or that I might be expected to return to the stage if applause continued... or how to not panic in general. Rick's encouragement and faith in me not only helped me survive that day, but has remained a dear memory and model for my own experiences working with confused young people.  Despite an undoubtedly busy schedule, Rick found a way to attend my performance. Having him there meant so much to me. What a wonderful soul.

Oh yeah,I should mention the performance.

I performed Zack Stanton's brilliant Concerto for Horn and Chamber Ensemble on the Saturday evening concert.  That is an amazing piece of music.  My preparations were filled of fond reflections of premiering it in 2011 (on the same stage I performed it this weekend), of the dear friends who performed it with me, Dan Welcher's wisdom in the rehearsals, and the absolute genius of the composer, whom I feel so fortunate to call a friend.   That work reflects so many of the ways my time at the Butler School nurtured and supported me. I will always treasure it and my memories of performing and putting it together.

Zack- they loved it. Expect your phone to ring and your email to blow up. :)

The performance itself was exciting... I still can't believe that ensemble was able to tackle the work In one rehearsal. ONE. The loneliest number. They are badasses.

Playing that piece feels like.... Telling my favorite story, and I loved every damn second.


Austin:
I will never grow tired of Austin.

I do, however, reserve the right to despise everything happening with high-end apartments and South Lamar.  For crying out loud, people. Chill out.  Stop tearing buildings down and replacing them with awful complexes named "Tree Dwelling" and other nonsense. You are embarrassing yourself, and the Broken Spoke, and probably the famous blind salamanders of Barton Springs.


Friends:

Ok. I told approximately one person I was going to be in town. I'm the worst.

Serendipitously I ran into many of you, and it was beyond delightful.  You know who you all are, and that I love you, our conversations, the Mexican Martinis, the coffees, the singing. Don't ever change a thing.

The rest of you: I will atone for this in May. I promise.

Pat:
There is not enough I can possibly say about Patrick Hughes. From the moment I met him, he has been kind, generous, inspiring, and patient. As I bounced back and forth between every (not a joke, actually) major in the music school he smiled and listened to my doubts and questions. He encouraged me musically and personally.  He taught me about the horn, but more importantly about music, teaching and all around good-personness. (it can be a word if i say so. it's my blog)

Yep, Cherry Road. It's a thing.

When I finally chose to pursue performance, he resisted the urge to say "about time!" and helped me dive in and navigate a new path (this was in my 4th year of college. FOURTH. My parents want him declared a saint).

The generosity of his invitation to perform at this conference touched me deeply.  His aplomb in navigating crises and changes is truly astounding,

He's also an incredible musician and teacher, seriously.  Wow.
He's even patient for 8 AM group warm ups. No one should play the horn at 8 AM, let alone teach it.

This man is a treasure.

I have no apologies for being so gushy.

Family:
I have long quipped that I may be only musician in the world whose parents forced them to major in music. It's true though. They expected piano, but were supportive when my attention turned to horn.

They made a 3 hour round trip to hear me perform this weekend.  That's a lot of driving for a 12 minute piece.

There is something so precious about hearing your parents tell you they are proud of you as they hug you backstage after a huge professional moment.  My dad gives the best hugs. I could write a book about how amazing and funny my parents are.... If you're not careful I might do it.

It's just so cool that my sister-in-law will geek out about this stuff with me, and I am pretty sure I have the best big brother ever.

For real. A fine musician in his own right, his feedback and support means more than I can say.  I don't think I would ever have become a musician if he hadn't let me nap against the piano sounding board in his childhood piano lessons, sung duets at church, introduced me to Mahler 2 (and ACDC), and attended all of my recitals. I know i wouldn't have if he hadn't constantly reminded me how proud he was of me.

He's the coolest. Bottom line.

Another time we'll discuss my brave and beautiful cousin Helen. But, it did my heart so much good to see her, and borrow just an ounce of her fearlessness for this performance.  The ever patient Becky also deserves a post, and it's coming, don't worry.

Home:
It's a super nifty coincidence that home, aka Muldoon, is only about 1.5 hours out of austin. At the tail end of my trip, I got to spend time there with the parents, the cows, and the breathtaking wildflowers.  Last year, the first time I missed the Texas spring, I missed the flowers so much....but they were in full bloom. And I took pictures every 30 seconds because my folks were kind enough to humor me.

Bluebonnets!!!!! 

Home Sweet Home

So Pink. Much Wow.

More Blue Bonnet Because Why Not

If you've never experienced a Texas spring-enjoy!!!!

Do you know what 4 acres of BlueBonnets looks like? HEAVEN.

A re-discovered dispatch from my early LA days

I, apparently, started this post during the delirium  of baking/cooking/cleaning that was Marshall's birthday, and then promptly forgot that I had written it.  That was in August...whooooops. 

Despite having occurred so many months ago, this is a fairly accurate representation of how I function when left to my own devices.  I'll let you know how this all ended at the bottom of this post.


I live in Los Angeles, CA now.  That's a weird but true sentence, and I'm excited to be here.  Some other time, I will post about the trek to get here and move in, but that is not for today.

Why, you ask?

Because today is Marshall Todd Wootton's birthday, and there are more important fish to fry.*


*note: as Marshall is, in fact, a vegetarian, there will be no actual frying of fish.  Also, as we are both trying to eat healthier, there will be no frying of anything. 

Marshall has been a staunch member of the keep-AMC-sane -in-LA brigade (along with the cat), and thus, I thought, deserved a day to be recognized and treated.

Let me take this moment to say, good friends are such a delight in this life.  I feel fortunate to count him among mine.

Technically not the same Intelligentsia, ssshhh.

The day started with a delicious breakfast at Intelligentsia with the birthday lad.  Delightfully quirky and decidedly hip, this coffee shop is a favorite.   When I sip my latte there, I cannot help but feel the need to employ my haughtiest vocabulary (see: coterie, cortado, etc)  and look wistfully off towards the mountains.  I'm also fairly certain that I will have to invest in a serious wardrobe of vintage hats and pearl snap shirts to feel accepted by the regulars.

From there, Marshall and I parted ways.  He was off to work, and I to the grocery store.  Now, if you know me, you know that I do not love going to the grocery store, and that inevitably I leave with many random purchases, and missing at least one crucial thing off my list (FORESHADOWING).

I decided to bake Marshall a birthday cake and fix dinner.  So I grabbed cake mix and icing, diet coke, polenta and headed home.  A few things are already apparent.

1) I clearly had no plan for what dinner would be.
2) I might have been too hasty in my trip to the store.

Heading home, I begin to contemplate the day.

Ok, this is good.  I'll make cupcakes, then Marshall can take them to work.  Dinner should be pretty simple to whip up, I have lots of basics at home.

At home I started researching recipes.  The contents of my kitchen are roughly outlined below:
flour
baking soda
baking powder
mac & cheese
quinoa
elbow pasta
tuna
peanut butter
jelly
zucchini
greek yogurt
portobello mushrooms
tomato sauce
diet coke
cheddar cheese
deli turkey
bread

I opted for the mushrooms, zucchini, pasta and tomato sauce and found a tasty sounding baked pasta dish that incorporated these things.  To be fully honest,  I didn't completely read the recipe.  I understood the concept.  Boil the noodles, sauté the mushrooms (zucchini was my addition) layer in a baking pan with cheese and go.

Folks.  This is where the day transformed into exercises in active problem solving:

 no cupcake pan? ----> bundt pan!
 no vegetable oil? ----> canola oil?
 no glass baking dish ----> call mom STAT

what else am i missing?

mozzarella, goat cheese, basil-------> another trip to Vons

NOW. I wish I could report that I had successfully completed my ingredients and returned home.  That would be a bold-faced lie.  So, instead, this is what I actually bought a Vons

Goat Cheese
Mozzarella
Toothpaste
Mouth wash
Milk
Vegetable Oil

demonstrably absent: basil and glass baking pan.

a quick google search of "cooking substitutes for basil" brings you to this handy table

http://homecooking.about.com/library/weekly/blherbsub.htm

so thyme it is!

as for a baking dish, mom says metal should be ok, so here's hoping.

the pasta casserole dish was now on hold until dinner time, but i opted to get a start on the cake.  those of you that know me know that long ago, Becky and I developed a Kitchen Treaty in which she would do all baking and I would slice and handle all raw meats.

This was a mutually beneficial arrangement, since meat grossed her out, and I have not the patience to bake and make things pretty.  Case in point, icing this cake.  Baking went fine. I even let it cool all the way before attempting to ice it.  (herculean test of my patience).

I opened my jar of cream cheese icing and developed an attack strategy that immediately failed.  Bundt cakes are just awkward, y'all.   The next 20 minutes turned into a culinary farce.  Icing got everywhere, and it still looked like a hot mess.  (sorry Marshall!)

I face a conundrum: ice the cake right next to the fan so I don't get overheated and grouchy OR ice the cake away from the fan so icing stops getting sprayed all over things.

Clearly, I chose option A.

I've decided that Marshall's cake is delightfully "shabby chic"......  ?   Some people have a natural talent for baking and can cook without making the kitchen look like a war zone.  I am not that girl, ask me to arrange your furniture, hang paintings or otherwise decorate and I'm there, though.

So, flour everywhere, icing congealing on the table and my clothes, I added "clean kitchen" to my list of activities for the day.

Now to Marshall's present.

It has been a long standing point of contention between Marshall and myself that I have not seen Les Miserables or Mean Girls.  I thought it would be an unexpected twist of events if I had either or both of those available for us to watch.

Living in Los Angeles I thought this would be an easy task.  Probably the easiest of my tasks.  LIES.

Let me be clear:

Marshall, being" ironically patriotic" 

No store in this entire city has either of those two in stock.  Either Marshall is about to get copies of them from everyone he knows here, or these stores are falling behind on their jobs.  After an hour of internet searching and frantic phone calls, I checked netflix and hulu, which also failed me.

As a last resort I turned to iTunes.  Let me take this moment to extol the faithfulness of iTunes.  Both were available to rent or to buy.  HOORAY.

So, in my apple TV cue, both* are awaiting Marshall's whim. :)


The casserole ended up being the most amazing thing I had ever cooked.  We ate it and loved it for days.  Marshall overlooked the disastrous cake decorations, and embraced the underlying concept of appreciation it represented. 

We watched both Mean Girls and Les Miserables in less than 24 hours.  Mean Girls might still be an area of contention between us as I refuse to recognize is as the most brilliant film ever conceived, though it is hilarious. 

Ultimately, what really matters here is that  I am so grateful for Marshall's friendship, and that I don't tell him that enough.  

Tragically, no photographic evidence remains of my cooking feats or Marshall's reactions. 

*As this was before the movie was released, the Les Mis mentioned is the 20th anniversary production.  Tragic lack of Hugh Jackman, and random Jonas Bros. appearance, but still quite good.

Things California Needs to Know

Dear California,
I know that there are many wonderful things about this state.  You have some definite advantages: the Pacific Ocean, perpetual sunshine, amazing avocados, Napa Valley, Intelligentsia Coffee, the LA Phil, you're quite impressive.

However, there are a few things that could make you more awesome.

1) 60 degrees is not actually "freezing."  That would be 32 degrees (F).  60 degrees it totally survivable, doesn't require a parka, or every piece of clothing you own to be put onto your body.

2) similarly, 85 degrees isn't actually "scorching."  The states of Texas, Arizona, Nevada and New Mexico cordially invite you to hang out there for a few weeks this July to discuss this further.

3) Rain won't melt you. As Marshall can attest, there is a significant portion of this population that will cancel all plans for rain.   Sorry, I really can't do brunch.  It's raining.  or I know you offered me free tickets to this amazing event, but I have to cancel at the last minute because it's sprinkling outside and I don't do water falling from the sky.





4) Breakfast Tacos > Breakfast Burritos.

This one still puzzles me.  Millions of people embrace the breakfast burrito, but if you suggest tacos instead they look at you like you've just said that you're going to poison them. There are definite advantages to tacos: more portable, greater chance for variety, smaller portions....

I'll convert you, you will see.

5) Queso and Mexican Martinis

Guys. People outside of Texas don't know what either of this things are. It's kind of tragic, watching them live their lives not even knowing what they are missing.   What's worse it when they think they know.  I ordered queso at a bar by campus. I got pico de gallo with a few strands of shredded pepper jack on top. NOT THE SAME.

6) You can drink water even if it doesn't have electrolytes in it.

7) Some states don't have state income tax.  You should check that out, it's pretty cool.

Don't get me wrong, CA, you're great, I love you.  More on that later.

i still exist

After an incredibly long, and somewhat unintentional hiatus, I've* decided it's time to return to this lovely blog.

*ok, technically, Huei Pan, Scott Young and others have bullied me into it.... but considering the forecast of increased writing in my academic future, it's not a bad plan to work my way back into it before I drown in weekly page requirements.

Kitten in the midst of a lecture 

It has been an eventful year, and rather than bombarding you lovely people (if anyone actually reads this) with an update reminiscent of an epic Greek poem, I think I have chosen to present vignettes from the last year.  A sort of "blooper real of AMC's Graduate pursuits," if you will.

And if you won't.... that's fair enough.

As a quick synopsis in case I haven't caught up with you in EONS.

Cherry family vacation 2012 = moving AMC across the country in a dramatic road trip of 5 adults, a cheerful baby, and a grumpy cat.  My family is the best.  My cat is still punishing me.  I still don't believe there's a Joshua Tree Forest along the 10.  That, or I have a dramatically different idea of "forest" than the state of California.  I am doing a DMA, and loving it, and not sleeping enough.  I've had amazing opportunities (see: playing a gig with Barry Manilow....it counts, we were on the same stage at the same time), and feel über blessed.

...I am only mildly confident that I used über correctly there.....

I have the best colleagues in the world in the horn studio, and am loving every minute of my studies with the fantastic Dr. Morrell.  I do apologize to them, and Sarah Bareilles, for having arranged "Love Song" for 6 horns.

I will never have to conduct again, and the world is a better place for it.

I led a group of doctoral students in Mindfulness Meditation in lieu of presenting a power point on performance anxiety.

As I write this, I am engaging in a Haiku battle with someone I have never met.

As for the rest, here is a teaser of upcoming episodes:
-The next great american novel, or: the collected tweets, emails, and texts of Liz Love and AMC
-Traffic in Los Angeles is not for faint of heart (footnote: i brought a stick shift here?!?!)
-I am pretty blessed to be here
-Old friends in new places, an ode to P Blake, Marshall, and Huei.
-Kitten, brave world traveller
-Things California NEEDS to know
-I am from Texas, people, not a different planet
-ok, Texas might be a different planet.
-Once upon a time, I didn't realize AC was optional, now it makes me cold
-That time Marshall slept on my couch for 6 months and it was awesome
-The journey from "hometown girl" to "new girl in town" is breath-takingly, terrifyingly, good for me

To Sum Up:

California is fantastic:

Santa Monica Pier making the water all pretty.

But I am so excited to be home in a little over a week!

Texas Clouds being ridiculously awesome, as they do

the state of my TV watching

Sometimes, technology provides mankind with the tools to make marvelous leaps forwards.  It can also, alternatively, provide the means of squandering hours of time, and possibly, regression into lazy-spend-everyday-like-a-kid-on-summer-vacation-mode.

in my case, the recollection that i had a netflix account has proven almost as detrimental to my productivity levels as discovering AIM in middle school.

(AIM was a revelation at that age....until you kept the phone lines busy [dial up? heck yes] and your parents missed important phone calls and your internet usage was drastically curbed.  whoops.)

as a result, my TV show exposure has grown exponentially in the last few months, and can be roughly categorized as follows:

Shows I've Started Watching Against My Better Judgement

1. Downton Abbey
Let me just say that this show is mega addictive.  Under the innocent guises of PBS programming and British aristocracy, it lures you into its complex story lines and remarkably well developed characters until you find yourself vehemently devoted to the cause of Bates, and subversive romance of the upstart driver and youngest Crawley daughter. NOT TO MENTION MARY AND MATTHEW.  AAAAAAH.

2. Game of Thrones
If you know me, you probably knew this would happen.  HBO is the evil laboratory of addictive television, and this show does not disappoint.  (Understatement of the century).  This show is so ridiculously awesome that I was compelled to read ALL FOUR BOOKS that were available to me during the hiatus of production.  That's approximately 3000+ pages in around 3 weeks.

at last, those academic UIL chops are paying off. score.

on a related note.  WINTER IS COMING.

3. Celebrity Ghost Stories
Ok ok, you absolutely can and should judge me here. I like ghost stories, too much, and hearing washed up and/or obscure celebrities recount nights of terror accompanied by terrible reenactments is truly a gem of a guilty pleasure.  Plus, sometimes, someone truly fantastic (see: Loretta Lynn, Matthew Gray Gubler, Fred Willard, to name a few)  will make tell a fascinating story that makes it totally worth listening to Harry Hamlin blabber on about how a ghost kept Fed Ex from delivering an important package on time. (seriously, I couldn't have made that up if i tried)

4. The Borgias
You are allowed to judge me a little for this.  But I will counter all of your judgements with this simple fact: Jeremy Irons is magic.  Anything involving Jeremy Irons at least gets a chance with me.  Jeremy Irons as a corrupt and powerful patriarch of "the original crime family?"  COME ON, it's like they put Scar in fancy robes and let him run amuk in renaissance Rome.

Yes, that was a Lion King reference.

5. The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
This is not for the faint of heart.  David Cross and Will Arnett are geniuses of comedy.... but this show is so agonizingly awkward and ridiculous that I spent most of the time watching it with white knuckles and fists clenching saying "please no, don't do that, oh no oh no, why why why" in between bursts of laughter.

6. Grimm
Remember how I like ghosts?  Really I like all things creepy crawly and/or supernatural.  (Deal with it).  Grimm's Fairy Tales retold in 20th century settings with X-files worthy cinematography (see: dark and foresty) = perfection.

Shows I've Stopped Watching
1. Grimm
That didn't last long.  I mean, there are some charming characters, and cleverly reworked fables here... but there are also complicated subplots that are not too compelling, and it comes on Friday nights.  Not helping.  Give it time, I'll probably come back to this via Netflix the next time I'm sick.

2. NCIS: LA
Why did I even start watching this show?

3. Mad Men
My attention span has gotten too short for this season.  I watched a few episodes.  Not feeling it right now, maybe if they added ghosts, or white-walkers or something.  (kidding. [kind of])

4. Criminal Minds
This is just self preservation.  I live alone, and this show utilizes the "all-single-women-living-alone-will-be-murdered" plot line every other week or so.  Not helping my sleep schedule.

Show Everyone Yells At Me To Watch
1. Modern Family
I GET IT. Sorry!  Don't even start with me, I know that I'm the worst person in America because I haven't started watching this yet, and have only the vaguest idea who Sofia Vergara is, but I will get there and then you can stop hating me.

2. Breaking Bad
I still am not sure how this is going to be awesome, but pretty much everyone around me talks about it, so I'll check it out.

3. Portlandia
I will watch it, and I will put birds on all the things.

Shows I Still Have ZERO Interest In.... Ever
Ice Road Anything

Kardashian Shenanigans

Glee (sorry everyone)

2 Broke Girls/Two and a Half Men/Cougar Town/Laugh Tracks in general, actually

America's Got Talent/American Idol/Dancing with the "Stars"

America's Funniest Home Videos

Grey's Anatomy and it's thousands of spin offs

would you buy my book?

My workspace this morning, in a fit of inspiration fueled by caffeine

On the flight home from NYC a while back I was delighted to read Mindy Kaling’s book “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and other concerns)”

Let me first say: I LOVE THAT BOOK AND WILL TRY TO MAKE ALL OF YOU READ IT AT SOME POINT SOON.

You know the lyrics: strumming my pain with his fingers... singing my life with his words...

Well, this book is (in a less melancholy manner, and with no killing [of the soft or loud varieties]) a joyous revelation of expression of the most amazing thoughts I wish I’d had. By the end, I decided a few things:

1. some day, Mindy Kaling and I will be friends
2. good books (and I mean truly good books, not the best sellers you can pick up in the grocery store check out line) are tragically undervalued in our society
3. i want to write a book.

concerning #3, you are likely thinking something along the lines of the following possibilities:

duh, AMC, we’ve talked about this before  or

p’scuse me?    or even

oh no, this blog is bad enough, ok? yikes.

to crowd A, I say: NO I’M REALLY SERIOUS THIS TIME

to crowd B, I say: can you NOT? I mean. it could work, right? 

to crowd C, I say: okokokokokok. I know I should be practicing, or cleaning my house, or exercising or something instead, but bear with me.

I may not be funny as Mindy or Tina Fey, or as pointlessly famous as Bristol Palin, but what I do have in my arsenal is a ridiculously overactive imagination...which I frequently indulge.

When my car stereo was busted in high school, so what? I can be my own radio station!

When preparing for a job interview (or important life conversation, or presentation), no problem- I will practice interview myself in the car and ask far more terrifying and salient questions so that the real interview feels like a walk in the park!  (I’m surprisingly good at this. seriously)

AND, when exceedingly bored I may even have been known to write my own episode of a favorite TV show, that a friend, who has a degree in film, told me “wasn’t even that bad” (Jeff didn’t say that, but he probably should have) after i shoved it in his (and everyone else around me) face. 

did i mention i’m an exceedingly fast typer?  that’s got to count for something.

My writing isn’t terrible, which is more than can be said about LOTS of authors, I even landed a part time writing gig*...that I have proceeded to ignore entirely. OOOOOPS.

I’m thinking that I’ll play to my strengths and write tour de force of daydreaming. Something light-hearted and nonsensical that people will buy at the airport, chuckle over whilst drinking ginger ale and eating peanuts on the plane and then casually leave in the back seat of their car for a few months until Marshall points out that they should really clean their car. (Not everyone does this? oh.)

My book, title to be determined at a different time, will be a collection of incredibly short stories about my imagined adventures with celebrity friends.  (right?!) 

Not wanting to reveal my hand, but eager to convince you that I’m not insane, here is an example:

Brunch with Meryl Streep

This would totally happen on a rainy Saturday morning in March, when it’s still a little brisk in the morning, but the humidity promises that by mid afternoon the whole city will feel like a sauna.  We would meet at some new trendy bistro named Les moustiques violet, or something equally as international and obscure. 

There would be french pressed coffee from some place exotic like Kuala Lumpur, and Endive Salad (i don’t even know what that means, but there would have to be endive) as well as beet/arugula/kale juice with a hint of spice. 

You get the idea, we would be the envy of everyone else at that bistro..except it would be a total neighborhood gem that only the locals know about, so there wouldn’t be anyone else there. yeah.

You get the idea.

If this book idea fails, I will revert back to my previous plan: determine the up-and-coming mythical creature, and write a twilightesque series where an impossible romance gives hope to a community, spurs a multi-movie franchise, and remains utterly and completely asinine. 

NB: I’ve never read Twilight, but this is my understanding of its contribution to society

** After quitting my job, I applied for a job writing for an online periodical. Somehow, I got it. Then I forgot about it. If anyone from that publication is reading this.... I will get on that ASAP.**